oh my darling

Oh My Darling

Oh My Darling! I’ve gone and started a business!

When I first left school and started university, I enrolled in an Applied Science degree. I had dreams of becoming a Forensic Scientist. My favourite show was CSI.

I then found out, to get into forensics you had to first become a police officer for a minimum of five years. Not only did that not appeal to me in the slightest, I was told that my height would be an issue (apparently discrimination wasn’t really a thing in 2002).

I took some time off from university to decide which direction to head in next. Over the next two years I would work in various retail jobs before enrolling in a degree focusing on Event Management and Tourism. I loved it! I’d always dreamed of organising music festivals, big parties and incredible experiences for people.

Over the next few years, I worked in various Events, Media and Communications roles. None of them involved the bands and excitement I was looking for.

If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you’ll know that in 2013 tragedy struck my husband and I with the death of our twin sons. Since then to help me through my grief, I’ve been on a quest to live in the moment, find the happy moments in everyday and to help other people find happiness in the simple things. I started to notice that the career path I had gone down wasn’t filling me with excitement. I wasn’t passionate. I was bored. And after saying goodbye to my sons, I realised that life is too short to do something you don’t love every day.

Rather than waiting for things to change, I decided to do what I’ve always wanted to do – but with a twist. I want to see people happy and what better way to do that than to help them plan the exciting and happy moments in their lives.

I’m a little bit frightened to be going out on my own but incredibly excited at the same time!

Check out my new website www.ohmydarling.com.au beautifully designed by the talented Tamara at September.

 

the truth

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I’m a new mum.

It’s the most amazing job in the entire world. But six weeks in, I already know that it’s going to be the hardest.

There are so many things they don’t prepare you for when you’re pregnant. Like, the whole parenthood thing.

A friend of mine, also a new mum, was saying the other day that it’s as if mothers everywhere conspire against pregnant women avoiding the topic of parenthood entirely and only discussing their experiences of birth. It’s totally true! Not that I’m a conspiracy theorist but any woman with children I’d ever talked to whilst I was pregnant only ever gave details of their (usually hellish) birth all the while carrying a perfect angel around on their hip.

It’s as if they come out and that’s the worst of it over.

Sure people joke about the sleepless nights and bodily fluid emissions, but those things, even in tandem seem do-able.

A week ago, Nick returned to work and so it was just Ernie and I. The two of us. I was walking around the house with him snuggled in his ergo-carrier and the sudden realisation that this is now my life hit me pretty hard. I mean, I knew having kids is a lifelong journey but I didn’t really “know” that until this little bundle arrived. It was just a concept I had with no experience to back it.

No one tells you that there will be days where your baby will cry and will. not. stop. For hours. And hours.

One day last week, it seemed that Ernie had found his voice and after a particularly sleepless night, Ernie and I had a crying competition. Ernie won, I came in close second. I did everything I should do. Fed, changed, cuddled, added layers, removed layers, tried to settle. Nothing worked. Not a thing. My little turned beetroot red and I had no power to fix whatever it was that was bothering him. He just cried, so I cried. There was nothing left to do but sit on the couch together wailing. It felt terrible. I was at my wit’s end and it felt even worse to admit that to myself. During my pregnancy I had visions of being a carefree and calm mama. Going on walks along the beach, coffee dates, laying on the floor with my little one, gazing at him while he cooed and smiled. So far, none of those things have happened with minimal fuss and my expectations of motherhood have been dashed.

Here is the truth for mums-to-be out there. Being a mum is hard. It’s harder than you ever think it could be. Think of the hardest thing you’ve ever done, then multiply it by itself and you will still not be able to fathom how hard motherhood is. But please be reassured that as long as you have love for your little, you can do this. Surround yourself with support and don’t feel ashamed to ask for help if you need it. Just as you wouldn’t judge another mama for asking for help, we won’t judge you, we will offer tales of our experiences and a hug if you need it. And although this is the hardest job you will ever take on, it’s totally worth it. The snuggles, the smiles when they arrive and the way your baby holds your gaze will be enough to melt away the frustration and the frazzle.

You’ve got this.

I’ve got this.